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When you can't sleep, what do you do? Of course you write a journal. Not too long, not too short, but just enough to pour out your feelings or your burden, so to speak. 

Happy belated new year btw, it has already been a year since I last wrote a blog. Yes, life has been hectic. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, overall it's been sad. Sad cause we've lost a lots since last year. A lot had happened, life were lost, humanity was lost, good memories shattered and even recalling or reliving the event breaks my heart. Recurring involuntarily vivid flashbacks is agonizing. So, I try not to think about it, mostly. 

Life is hard and it can get lonely sometimes. I couldn't make this up even if I try but I always used to say I'd never marry when I was a kid and it's really happening! Anyways, we often think that life's all about living our life in the most grandest way possible, even at the cost of our integrity/principle jeopardizing our authenticity. Well, I just can't live my life that way. I want real love. I want raw conversation. I want honesty. It's like the saying, "some people free their time to talk to you while some people talk to you in their free time". Some people assumed you wouldn't know a thing just because you're plain nice when in fact you're the guru of reading situations and people's mind. My point being that, don't treat people like a second choice while giving VIP treatment to others just because you think you'd benefit from them.

There's a lot that I want to say but words don't come easily, like I love you. All that I have is my unpretentious words which might never reach your materialistic carnal heart.